About a million years ago a had a different blog. I had literally 4 followers. Three of them knew me personally. Two of those people I saw everyday. Oh yeah, I was pretty popular…
That blog was an online journal of sorts to help me vent about my struggles with weight loss. It was also where I went to vent about weight gain. And then I talked about weight loss… you get the idea, right? I was thirty-something and I found myself playing with the weight loss yo-yo.
I was thirty-something… that meant my kids were little. Tiny, even. I was trying to balance raising small ones and getting back in shape from having my babies (Little Man is 11… I think I need to quit saying I am still carrying baby weight!). I had successes and failures. I learned a lot about food and exercise and about my own body. But the problem was, I would always quit within 25 pounds of my goal. Then I would gain more than I lost and have to start all over.
I was always super skinny. SUPER skinny. I could eat absolutely anything and exercise very little and never gain a pound. During my younger years, I developed a love for food and a sedentary lifestyle. I have always had a love-love relationship with my food. I love it. It tastes great. End of story. I like rich sauces and creamy dressings. I like bread and dessert. I love sugar… and I think it likes me. It passed me a note in study hall…
I had a plan. My hope was to reach my goal by the time I turned 40. Then life happened. And now I am right back where I started. And I’m 40. Ugh.
This is not a weight loss blog. This is a blog about my God and my journey to become closer to Him. But I do feel this is something He desires for me. And I know it is something I desire for myself. Not to be thinner or younger looking or prettier or more desirable… but to be healthy and happy and feel better about myself (and to just feel better… a lot of things ache when you’re 40, yo!). So, I may occasionally get real about my weight and my struggles. And I may need encouragement and praise… or some stern reprimanding followed by forgiveness. Or possible a care package of Krispy Kreme doughnuts and jars of nutella… just saying.
So, this is where I begin. 212 pounds. Not my worst, but I have been better. My goal is 145… but I will be happy with 150 (who and I kidding? I’ll be happy with 190!)