Jenni at Story of My Life has issued another blog writing challenge! I joined her for a few posts during her May challenge and I decided that I would join her again when the prompt really struck me… and this is it!!
Describe a distinct moment when your life took a turn…
2012 was not a year I want to remember. I spent most of that year in a self-imposed prison of self-degradation and shame. I was so ashamed of what I had done that, although I praised my Father in heaven for His forgiveness and grace, I simply would not forgive myself. Not could not… WOULD NOT. It left me depressed and lonely.
Then I found She Reads Truth. I know I have mentioned this moment on the blog before, but I have to say it all again!
It was January. The new year had begun. I was under the very wrong assumption that the newness of 2013 would erase the pain of 2012 and allow me to move on. I was so very wrong. January 2013 just brought with it new pain, reminders, and shame.
I needed help. I needed a lifeline. So, I grabbed my iPad and started searching Youversion for a devotion that would help me. I had tried some reading plans on Youversion before and had been very disappointed. There had been no commentary, just scripture… and I found myself finding more questions than I was answers. That is, until I stumbled on SRT’s “Fresh Start”. It was the devotion I needed to open up God’s word for me!
Fresh Start was followed by “Soul Detox”. Once again, I was scouring scripture and commentary about leaving the old behind and finding new in Jesus Christ. I cried just about every morning as I poured over the scripture and lost myself in God’s promises.
I would love to say that my defining moment, my game-changer, was within those studies. And, truly, my life did begin to turn around. I was beginning to forgive myself, as hard as that was, and allow myself to be deeply and truly happy. But the devil loves to remind us of our sin, and he was not at all happy that I was moving on. So, he tried to steal my joy as often as he could. And, sadly, I would often let him.
Then came the devotion on “Lot’s Wife”. It was barely two months ago. It was such a game changer that I begged Hayley Morgan to let me repost it here on my blog! This devotion spoke to me more than any other had before. God said to not look back at my past. To not stay stuck in the mire of my sin.
Then, my dear friend Amy Hale added in her awesome journaling that Lot lingered. He hesitated. I don’t want to linger in my sin! I want to move on. Leave it! Never return! Never. Look. Back.
That was the game changer. The distinct moment when my life took a turn. And as hard as it is, I am striving daily (with God’s help) to not look back.