I miss close, intimate friendship.
I miss having someone to laugh with. Not just laugh. Laugh so hard you pee. Laugh till your face hurts. Laugh till you fall off the couch. And then… giggle secretively later because you now have an inside joke that no one else knows about.
I miss having someone to go out with. No real reason… just to sit in the coffee shop and enjoy each other’s company.
I miss having someone to text or call during TV shows. “Did you see that?” or “Oh my gosh! I cannot believe they just did that!”
I miss having someone who understands what I am saying even when I am not saying it. Someone to just understand my look or the hidden meaning behind my words.
And oh! I am so jealous. Extremely jealous. I see other people post about their besties that have been together for years. Others post about their one best friend that they do everything with. They post from fun places and laugh about the fun they are having. And the green monster inside me rears its ugly head.
I have friends. I love my friends. I have Julie, who I have known since junior high. She lives several states away and our lives have grown very different. But we still love each other deeply and keep in touch a few times a year: a few texts or quick phone calls.
Philippians 1:3 (NIV) I thank my God every time I remember you.
I have Terri and Crystal who are so very loving and kind. They pray with me and for me… but it is a very different type of relationship, ya know?
Philippians 1:4-6 (NIV) In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Even Lisa, and Shelley, and Krystal… they are great to be with, but their relationship isn’t the same.
I have my sweet sisters from my online community… Candace Jo, June Bug, Carolyn, Rocknitat55, Ellen, Cynthia, and more! But despite the fact I have shared more with them than I have shared with anyone in my own area… they all live states—or even countries—away!
Matthew 18:20 (NIV) For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
So I have been praying for this friend. I have even been praying that this friend has a husband just perfect for my Hubby! I have been praying that they are God Followers and would mentor and support us through our own walk. But at the same time, I want them to be fun and exciting. I want to have those laughable moments. I want to have those inside jokes. I want to tell stories that start out “my best friend and I…”
This is my weakness. This is where the devil strikes me most. Through all my struggles, through all my trials, through my depression and pain to my redemption and new life… this—this loneliness, this yearning, this jealousy—is what bothers me most.
But I serve an awesome God. My God who forgave me is preparing this relationship for me. Or maybe he is preparing me for this relationship. So, because I put my faith and hope in this awesome and magnificent God, I can rest assured that this friend is coming. And we will look back at this time together and giggle.
Philippians 4:19 (NIV) But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.