The truth is… It’s amazing how time flies. If you blink, you may miss it! It seems like only yesterday that I was finding out I was pregnant with Big Girl. And now she is finishing her sophomore year in high school.
Big Girl is struggling with all it means to be a teenager. She is too old to be a kid. It is hard to reconcile that when she would rather color than read; rather watch Beauty and the Beast than reality TV; and would rather snuggle with a stuffed animal when she goes to bed at night.
She is also too young to be a woman. But that is what she is wanting to be more than anything. She is working extra hard to graduate early… but she refuses to practice driving to receive her license. She wants to be treated like an adult, but she still has a hard time accepting responsibility.
She is sixteen and is struggling with the purgatory between childhood and adulthood.
As a mom, it is hard to let her test her wings. I see her about to make a mistake and want to teach her it’s wrong, when the best lesson is learned from experiencing the mistake and KNOWING it is wrong. I worry about her and worry over her. I want to protect her from the world and all she wants to do is experience it. I wasn’t very different. But I was mature for my age… and she is still my 8 year old, chubby cheeked sweetie. Or at least in my eyes.
She is still the little girl who mooned her friend during nap time (oh my!)
She is still the little girl who cut her own bangs in class with scissors “guaranteed to not cut hair”.
She is still the little girl who had her teacher believing she could speak fluent Spanish to the new Hispanic student when it was actually complete gibberish with a convincing accent.
She is still the little girl who wanted more than anything to dress up in her bikini top and gold lame dress up skirt and sing Backstreet Boys on her Barney CD player.
She is loving and kind. She roots for the underdog and sees the good in everyone. She wants to be a psychologist. Her Gold Award project is going to be an anti-bullying campaign. She is uber talented and can sing like an angel.
As wise as I try to be as a mom, she is often so much wiser than I am. I am a better person as her mommy. I pray more than anything that she will be the best Big Girl she can be. That she will love her Lord and Savior more than life itself. That she will always put others before herself and be a servant of the Lord.
And as much as I worry… I hear God’s voice quietly whisper “I’ve got this”. He is in control. He brought me through puberty and hormones and high school… and I turned out ok. Right? Sort of? 🙂
The truth is… I am excited to see who she becomes and who God leads her to be. I have been so impressed by her so far, why wouldn’t I expect to be less than impressed from here on out? I love this girl to pieces. And I love being her mommy.